28 Jan Pam Ayson-Begre
Ask anyone, Pam is the nicest, kindest and most sincere person you’ll meet. There is a lightness about her that leaves you feeling calm yet energized whenever you’re in her vicinity. She is funny, open and radiates positivity which totally explains why everyone (us included) love being around her. We spent the morning at her beautiful plant filled home where we talked about life with three boys, best advice from her mom and how recalibrating your life can be the best decision you’ll ever make.
- What was your reaction when you first found out you were pregnant?
Wow, how do you even put that kind of emotion into words? I was definitely shocked and definitely very very happy!
- What is the hardest thing about being a mom?
I’m having trouble answering this because I love being a mom. I accept all of what comes with it, the good, the ugly, the stinky, the funny, the awesome. The fear, the pain, the happy, the love, the moments. Yes there are tough moments, but I can’t pinpoint exactly what the hardest would be because there’s always a lesson to be learned and it (hopefully) makes you better as a mom. Maybe, I would say, one of the hardest would be answering questions like this? Hahaha! Kidding aside, I would say ONE OF, not the hardest, thing about being a mom is seeing your children go through pain but also giving them enough space to be able to process that pain on their own and grow from it.
- What’s the best thing about mom?
All the hugs and kisses. The privilege to raise children and be part of something more than yourself.
I also love how motherhood gave birth to a whole different world of friends. I mean, where would we be without our mom tribes?
- How did your marriage change once you had children?
Deeper love and respect for each other. Having children just took it to a whole new level. I love that my husband is very involved with the kids, and he just makes my heart sing, the way he gives so much of himself. I’ve always known that he’s a caring and loving person, but witnessing how he is with the kids day in and day out just makes me love him even more. We are so lucky.
- Best marriage advice you’ve received.
Marriage first. My husband is my best friend.
- What lessons have your children taught you?
Time really flies and you need to pay attention. Growing up is inevitable. If you’re not careful you will miss out.
This is one of the reasons why I decided to recalibrate my life. In 2019, I realized that I needed to make changes to be the mom that I wanted to be. It was a progression that involved exercise, diet and taking a break from social media. I started running regularly and even joined 2 marathons last year. Running is my catharsis. It’s my happy time, it also ignited the need to make certain adjustments to what I ate. I went plant based for 50 days towards the end of the year and I have to say, I feel amazing. Fixing my diet gave me a better grasp of my head and my emotions.
As for social media, going offline was something that I would do once in awhile, but it finally came to a point where I really had to take a break. The danger with me kasi is that I get so invested. Your pain is my pain. That’s how I am, that’s just how I’m wired. When I see my friends go through something on social media, I feel them. With Frangipani, I know each and every employee plus what they’re going through. So to carry all of that, was too much that I didn’t have enough left for my children.
Going off social media was not about avoiding people. I’m offline but not anti-social. In fact, I don’t think I’ve felt more awake than I do now. I feel my connection with others is a lot better. Not just with my kids but everyone in general. I engage more, and really concentrate, contribute and remember conversations. I don’t think its for everyone, but it’s a journey I chose to take and I’m glad I did.
- Piece of advice from your mom that you swear by.
“Even though you’re a mom, you shouldn’t lose yourself. You need to take care of yourself. Find something that you love and do it.” I struggled with this at first because I thought all I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom which is wonderful, but I guess deep down my mom knew that I was the type of person who had to have “something” and as it turns out, running Frangipani was it. I finally found my calling as a hotelier at 36!
- What advice would you give your younger self?
Consider having children earlier! So your body can take having more! Haha! Also, don’t feel like you need to have everything figured out right away. Like I mentioned earlier, I found my calling at 36! I tried on many many hats along the way. Take your time and enjoy the process.
Photographed by Sheila Catilo.